KIM MICHAEL

         

       A Special Life

           By Kim Michael
           Copyright August 2015


Some people go through their entire lives not leaving a single footprint, while others leave huge wakes in the world they touch.

One week ago tonight something was taken from all of us.  A man, a colleague of mine who I barely know, was driving home following his daughter, her husband and two grand daughters in the back seat of their car, the third oldest grand-daughter in his own backseat, when a truck careened across the highway smashing into the car in front of him.  The car that was carrying his daughter, her husband and two of their grandchildren.

Kyra, his daughter, was killed instantly.  The father and two children were hurt, one in critical condition but stable, survived.  Only the mother, his daughter, was killed.

The Karr family were Baptist missionaries to Italy on vacation here in the states visiting friends and family.

There are no words I can write that can ease of the pain and horror they must have felt and I cannot, even now, find the words that can impart my feelings or soothe their loss.  When you have children, you know the endless fear that you learn to live with and it stays with you always.  The tragedy is when it becomes real.

Ivan Delgato, 52 from NY, had stopped to make what he called "a safety check", forgetting to set the emergency break.  People who had seen him said that he was acting erratic.  When he left the vehicle it began rolling, and it rolled out into the lanes of traffic hitting the car.

Delgato was arrested for driving under the influence, involuntary manslaughter, vehicular homicide and reckless conduct.  Clearly he was a man who should never have been behind the wheel of a semi in the first place, but he is not the only person at fault.  Certainly the people who put him there should share just as much of the blame.

Looking at his picture it is hard not to be judgmental.  I don't know what is truly in this man's heart and perhaps, even the hardest of hearts would find it difficult to live the rest of your life knowing what you had done, not just to Kyra, but her family and everyone who knew her.

Tragedy is seldom a single event.  It is a stone tossed in the river whose ripples stretch out long after the stone is gone.  This accident was more than just the loss of a very special individual.  In its wake it has left a family decimated: three children who will grow up without a mother, the younger ones, not even knowing their mother.  It also left a man who will live the rest of his life without his beloved wife.  And it robbed us all of the kind of life that we all aspire to, but rarely have the courage to live.  A shinning example of what we could, and should be.  And I suppose that it has left a truck driver who will forever have to live knowing what he has done and nothing he can do can change it.

What can anyone say?  I don't know.

Some years ago I experienced one of the worst days of my life.  I was at work when our office manager answered the phone and then dropped the receiver saying I can't take this call, and burst into tears.  It was her babysitter calling from the local emergency room to tell her that her baby had died of SIDs.

I can still remember her tears and the utter agony of her cries; a sound that I will remember always.  At the funeral the minister said something that has stayed with me.  He said to the parents as his voice broke on the verge of tears, "I don't know why this happened.  No one can know why...it just happened."  But then he said,"...but God created a perfect universe, though we may sometimes not realize it, and in that perfect universe he has never created anything that was left unfinished.  I can tell you with all certainty that one day, maybe not here on earth, but one day, you will see your baby again and you will be able to hold him and love him, and everything that you missed, everything that was taken from you, will be restored."

I'd like to think that that is true.  That somewhere in the great universe there is a balance for all things and in such a place, the universe can be "righted", if only for a moment.

So how do we go on from here?  Some years ago a friend of mine's wife died of cancer.  He said, "We realized we could dwell on the untimeliness of her death, or we could celebrate the thirty years that we had with her, and the joy she brought to all our lives."

Judging from the kind of life that Kyra lived, I think she would choose... the later.

Hug your babies, and grand children, and your wife or husband, whenever you can and celebrate their being in your life.

km